Surrogacy vs Adoption: Two Options for Building your Family

Before we delve into this topic, I want to share that I am adopted. My biological mother was just 19 years old from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I believe she was pro-life; otherwise, I wouldn’t be here sharing my story with you today. I recognize the distinct mental challenges that come with both surrogacy vs adoption. …

Surrogacy vs Adoption

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Before we delve into this topic, I want to share that I am adopted. My biological mother was just 19 years old from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I believe she was pro-life; otherwise, I wouldn’t be here sharing my story with you today.

I recognize the distinct mental challenges that come with both surrogacy vs adoption. especially since I have my own naturally conceived son and IVF twins. There’s no denying that we are all conditioned from birth to understand the natural order of how children come into the world. When we have to depend on a third party—be it a surrogate mother, egg donor, or birth mother—to create a family, it disrupts the familiar balance and order we associate with normalcy.

Honestly, as an adopted child, I never focused on my origins! What truly mattered to me were my loving parents who brought me home from the hospital, nurtured me, educated me, and empowered me to pursue my dreams. For the past 13 years, I have been helping families like yours navigate the emotional challenges of the surrogacy, whose path presents its own unique emotional intricacies.

Try not to dwell on how you might feel tomorrow… Instead, envision further into the future, having a son, a daughter, or both, and picture the family vacations, dinners, graduations and holidays…

This article weighs the Benefits and Challenges of surrogacy vs adoption pros and cons.

5 Key Distinctions Between Surrogacy and Adoption

Is surrogacy the right choice for me?

There are numerous beautiful ways to create a family. For many couples facing infertility or health issues that complicate pregnancy, two prevalent options are adoption and surrogacy.

There are quite a few similarities between these two approaches to making a family; they both are satisfying, life-altering processes on the way to becoming a parent. But there are also certain differences in surrogacy and adoption. Every would-be parent must consider these differences, as well as their own individual circumstances, because they dictate which one is superior, surrogacy or adoption.

In order to help you make your decision, I would like to highlight five major differences between adoption and surrogacy:

1. You might be or might not be genetically related to your child

The fact that a single or both would-be parent can be biologically connected to their child would be considered as one of the advantages of gestational surrogacy process. The embryos may be produced by using the eggs and/or sperm of the intended parents then implanted medically to the uterus of the surrogate. This biological relation renders surrogacy an attractive option among the families who emphasize on the need to have a child who is genetically related to them. Moreover, biological connectedness to the child might ease the legal procedure and give the prospective parents more control during pregnancy.

On the other hand, adoption is usually the case of unplanned pregnancy where the birth mother is the good parent to the child. As a result, the parents to be will have no genetic relation with the baby. This can also result in the development of more complicated feelings on the part of the birth mother. In certain cases, this can complicate the legal and social dimensions of the adoption process more than surrogacy vs adoption.

2. The costs of adoption and surrogacy vary

Regardless of whether you opt for adoption or surrogacy, you will incur various expenses throughout the family-building journey, which include agency fees along with legal and medical costs. Nevertheless, surrogacy entails the added financial burden of fertility treatments and compensation for the surrogate, potentially rendering cost of surrogate vs adoption more costly.

The processes for screening and matching differ significantly. The Embryon Family Surrogacy Center places a strong emphasis on identifying the ideal match for each surrogate and intended parent participating in our program. In contrast to many adoption programs that permit adoptive parents to outline specific criteria regarding the types of adoption opportunities they are willing to consider, the birth mother generally evaluates numerous family profiles and ultimately selects the family that will adopt her child.

The matching process in surrogacy is typically more collaborative and personalized. The Embryon Family takes the time to understand both parties on a personal level through a comprehensive screening procedure that includes background checks, home assessments, medical and psychological evaluations, among other steps. Our skilled surrogacy professionals carefully select potential matches and present each party’s profile sequentially. The surrogacy process will advance only when both parties indicate a shared interest in collaborating. To fully understand your options, you’ll want to carefully examine surrogacy vs adoption.

3. Your involvement in the surrogacy or adoption process may vary

The extent of your participation in the surrogacy or adoption process can be different.

Adoptive parents lack control over the process of adoption and their role in the period of pregnancy can depend on their case and relations with the carrying mother. This is legally permitted since potential birth parents have the right, at any point in the process, to change the mind about the adoption. This may cause uncertainty among the adoptive parents, with there being little guarantee on the commitment of the birth mother to the adoption, the approval of the adoption by the birth father, the prenatal care being received by the baby and other such factors.

Surrogacy on the contrary, entails a legal agreement that clearly outlines the expectations and relationships of both parties with respect to the baby. Because this is a legal contract that is negotiated and signed before the IVF surrogacy process, there is no uncertainty about the role of the surrogate carrying the baby on behalf of the intending parents and her willingness to continue through with her health and the baby up the pregnancy term. It’s an important point to consider when comparing surrogacy vs adoption.

The medical and legal procedures involved will vary. Surrogacy represents a multifaceted legal and medical undertaking. It includes a planned pregnancy, achieved through a series of medical interventions, alongside a legal contract that distinctly delineates the roles and responsibilities of each party towards the child. Most of the legal arrangements are finalized before the baby’s birth, resulting in very few unexpected developments during the surrogacy process.

Conversely, the adoption process does not necessitate the same medical and legal protocols. Instead, the legal adoption occurs post-birth, when the birth parents formally consent to the adoption, and the court grants custody to the adoptive parents.

Numerous factors must be taken into account when considering surrogacy vs adoption. Nevertheless, the most crucial aspect is the needs and circumstances of your family.

Pre-birth adoption involves making arrangements to place a child for adoption while the birth mother is still pregnant, though the adoption is not legally finalized until after the baby is born and formal consents are signed, which often cannot occur until the child is around six weeks old. This process allows prospective adoptive parents to prepare through home studies and training, and birth parents to select their child’s permanent family.

To gain further insight into surrogacy, please reach out to The Embryon Family for a complimentary initial online consultation.

4. Why should I opt for surrogacy rather than adoption?

Genetic connection: Surrogacy enables parents to maintain a genetic connection with their child. This can be a significant emotional bond for some intended parents. In contrast, adoption may sometimes leave important genetic and/or heritage information about your child unavailable. When weighing your options, the difference between adoption and surrogacy in this regard is often a primary consideration.

Witness childbirth: One of the most remarkable and fulfilling aspects of gestational surrogacy is the opportunity to witness the birth of your child and to nurture your child from infancy.

Attend OB appointments: Gestational surrogacy allows intended parents to be paired with a surrogate mother with whom they have a connection. This facilitates participation during the pregnancy by attending medical appointments and ultrasounds.

For OB appointments when intended parents (IPs) live abroad, they should maintain communication with the surrogate via your Embryon Family Surrogate coach, who will provide updates on the surrogate’s appointments, medical reports, and ultrasound results. IPs can arrange to attend key appointments, such as ultrasounds, either in person by traveling to the location or virtually via video calls like FaceTime or Google Meet to stay involved in the pregnancy journey. The Embryon Family will provide an interpreter if there’s a language barrier, and to understand local practices and legal requirements for parental recognition.

Raise a child from infancy: The considerable demand for infants and babies in the adoption process means that it is unlikely you will be able to raise your child from infancy if you choose adoption. This is a key difference between adoption and surrogacy.

Shorter timeframe: The overall high demand for adoptive children results in lengthy wait times, sometimes extending beyond five years, depending on factors such as the child’s age, public versus private adoption, and more. The decision between public and private adoption can significantly influence the timeframe, cost of surrogate vs adoption, and age of the child you are adopting. A major factor in the debate of which is better surrogacy or adoption is the timeline.

Avoid adoption fees: Although adoption is generally less expensive than surrogacy in Kiev some countries, costs can often be in excess of $50,000. Fees for private adoption can vary greatly and are typically higher than those for public adoption. This is where the adoption vs surrogacy cost comes into play.

No preparation courses: In the case of adoption, you may be required to attend and/or pay for courses designed to prepare you for the adoption process.

Avoid unreliable agencies: International adoption presents challenges in locating a trustworthy and reputable agency to collaborate with. When you look at the surrogacy vs adoption pros and cons, agency reliability is a significant point.

Bypass legal limitations: Certain US States impose legal restrictions that may prevent unmarried couples, or single prospective parents from adopting. This is another important difference between adoption and surrogacy.

No waiting period: The adoption process may be interrupted at various stages; for instance, there are 90-day waiting periods during which the biological parent has the option to reconsider and halt the process. A family has to decide on which is better surrogacy or adoption for themselves, and the waiting period is a major part of that.

5. Why should I opt for adoption instead of surrogacy?

Adoption is viewed as a more selfless method of family creation, as it involves welcoming a child who is already (or soon to be) in need of a nurturing family. This is one of the main arguments in the surrogacy vs adoption debate.

The duration of the adoption process may be reduced if you are open to adopting an older child, although this is generally not applicable for younger children. The adoption vs surrogacy cost can also be much lower. The cost for cost of surrogate vs adoption is a major factor for many.

Adoption costs in the U.S. vary significantly by type, with foster care adoption costing very little to nothing, private domestic infant adoption averaging $30,000 to $60,000 or more, and international adoption falling into a similar range. Gestational surrogacy expenses begin at $150,000 in the US compared to $64,000 in Ukraine. surrogacy cost in Ukraine is far more affordable. The cost of surrogate vs adoption needs to be carefully examined. This is a primary reason why many families choose adoption. When you look at the cost of surrogate vs adoption, the financial commitment is vastly different. The adoption vs surrogacy cost is a major differentiator. The decision of surrogacy vs adoption often comes down to this.

To learn more about The Embryon Family’s Serenity Surrogacy all-inclusive program reach out to us today.

Ira Nissel

Ira Nissel

Ira Nissel, the Founder and CEO of The Embryon Family, is a native New Yorker currently residing in Kyiv, Ukraine, where he guides couples and single women on their journey to parenthood. Read his story...
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Ira Nissel

Ira Nissel

Ira Nissel, the Founder and CEO of The Embryon Family, is a native New Yorker currently residing in Kyiv, Ukraine, where he guides couples and single women on their journey to parenthood. Read his story...
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Ira Nissel

Ira Nissel

Ira Nissel, the Founder and CEO of The Embryon Family, is a native New Yorker currently residing in Kyiv, Ukraine, where he guides couples and single women on their journey to parenthood. Read his story...

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